Make Miracles in Forty Days

Wow - it's Valentine's Day, my day 40, and I've just written on my gratefulness list today that I'm loving this me who has emerged - this new, fresh, feisty, healthy attitude I have towards myself. I'm noticing I become healthily angry far more often and it just feels great. I used to be far too tolerant, too 'forgiving', too 'nice' too 'good' for my own good! I've made it. Happy Valentines Day, everyone. This stuff works; thanks Melody.

What a beautiful posting, Miracleseeker; it really touched me, most especially as we were both on day 40 together. May your next 40 days be equally fruitful for you.
Susie

Hi Bryan - what a truly beautiful posting you made, yesterday. I have no AA experience, though I'm aware that, like most of Western Society, I do have co-dependent traits (which is why I find Melody's work so helpful). What does one Take Inventory of, please? I've noted you say that eventually 'one gets down to all that we have true and direct control of is our own life one instant at a time', and that has a huge impact on me, for I remember eventually leaving a violent marriage, after 23 years, and suddenly realising that he had me so tangled up in care-taking him, and his life, that there was no me left at all. I had no idea who I was, outside of being married and being a mother. They were the 'rails' I ran on, and that kept me going, kidding myself that all would be well if I just 'tried harder' to be a better wife and mother. When my train derailed, I vowed to uncover why I'd married a violent man, when there was no physical violence whatsoever in my family of origin (though I've uncovered different, and not so easily spotted, ways in which my family of origin disrespected and manipulated each other, since!). All I had to look at was myself, and the beliefs that had held me 'tied' to an abusive marriage. I discovered 'Women Who Love Too Much', and tried doing the steps at the back, but discovered that Finding my Spirituality was the greatest step towards freedom, for me. I was able to give all my worries over to a Higher Power, and learned to be more of myself, instead, bit by bit by bit. I'm still doing just that!

With love, Susie

Thanks for the explanation, Bryan. I can understand why you would need to do this with support from a sponsor; coming from that level of honesty and 'letting go' must indeed be heart wrenching. But the benefit, that of the feeling of loving yourself, must be amazing. I send you many blessings for your courage, honesty, and the depth of caring that simply flows from you. What a special person you are.
With love
Susie